"Avoid Marital Distractions" 1 Corinthians 7:32-35        08/06/17

³²  But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:³³ But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.³⁴ There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.³⁵ And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction.

This reading starts out with the apostle Paul stating that he would have you without carefulness. He is saying that you should not be worried or concerned but he continues on stating that a man that is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord and how he may please the Lord. This does not only apply to men but to women too. Paul goes on in our reading talking about how a married man can not focus as much time on the Lord because he is preoccupied with taking care of His wife. Paul also talks about a virgin referring to the unmarried woman which, as a side point to this teaching, clearly shows that everyone should be a virgin until they get married. Here Paul was comparing the married and unmarried woman just like he did the man showing that the married woman, just like the married man is concerned for his wife, will be worried or concerned about pleasing her husband. Paul was clearly stating that anyone that did not marry would keep their focus on God better than married people because of these marital distractions. Paul was urging everyone to put their relationship with God first and foremost in their lives even before their marriage. The apostle Paul made it very clear earlier in this chapter that it is better to marry than to commit fornication which is sexual relations between two unmarried people. In 1 Corinthians 7:2 Paul wrote, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband." So earlier in this same chapter Paul said it is better to get married and have a wife or husband than to fornicate but he went on in the same chapter to explain that it is better to be single and focus on the Lord because your spouse will cause you to be distracted from your relationship with the Lord. Obviously, the apostle Paul was created to stay single and focus on the Lord because that is what he did through the strength of Jesus. God did not create everyone to stay single as shown in Genesis 5:2, "Male and female created he them;" God created us to be married, one man to one woman and that was in the beginning. Jesus was quoted using this verse during His earthly ministry in Mark 10:6 and Matthew 19:4. Now that you know that God created most people to be married, what can you do to avoid the distractions from your marriage that take you away from the Lord? First, you have to make a total commitment to your relationship with Jesus. When you do commit to Jesus, make your commitment to Jesus with your husband or wife. It is that simple. We strongly urge you to make the commitment together(With God's help and strength to do it) and this commitment should not only be a one day per week relationship with God such as going to church together on Sunday, it is an everyday relationship with God. For us, this means that every day, we spend time together reading the Holy Bible, singing worship songs to the Lord and praying at least 2 times. Over time, this has become more important to us than any other part of our day, in fact, we sometimes push it off to late at night to finish other things because we both know that we won't go to bed until we do it. This is something that God taught us to do to enrich our relationship with Him and with each other. Together, we make Jesus our priority in life and we have seen our marriage get so much better this way. This is because the Holy Spirit in a born-again believer helps you be a better spouse. You may be laughing right now saying there is no way we could do that but that is truly a thought only the devil wants you to believe. When you make God a daily priority in your marriage, He takes away all your concerns about pleasing your wife or husband because He will give you the desires of your heart as King David wrote in Psalm 37:4, "Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart." God will bless you by giving you the desire in your heart to do awesome things for your wife or husband that you wouldn't even normally think about. God will personally tend to the things of your spouse for you better than you could ever do it yourself. All you have to do is what Proverbs 3:5 says, "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding." Trusting in the Lord is so important to seeing this blessing on your marriage. Start today by praying together and by simply reading one Psalm together and see how it goes, when you see that it feels good to do that, sing a worship song together. You will be amazed by the presence of the Lord when you do these things together. This presence of the Lord is spoken of in the bible in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." Think about that for a moment. If you are together with your spouse and reading the bible or praying, you are gathered together in Jesus' Name which means He will be right there in your midst which means in the middle. He will be right between you. How awesome is it to think if a married couple is doing anything with Jesus in mind, Jesus is right there with them. Thank You Jesus!  In Psalm 22:3 it says that God dwells in our praises, "But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel." Put some thought into this verse. If you worship God, He dwells in your praises. If you sincerely try worshipping together as a married couple, I guarantee you will feel the presence of the Lord in your midst because you are still gathered in His Name when you are praising Him and He is dwelling in your worship.  We can testify that this works for us always. In conclusion, here is one last verse, a quote right out of Jesus' mouth that makes it even more significant that a husband and wife do these things together, Matthew 18:19 says, "Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven." This is telling you that if you agree in prayer with your spouse, and of course it has to be in line with God's Word, you will see your prayer answered. With all this information, it should be obvious that there are many benefits to a husband and wife together having relationship with the Lord and you can easily avoid the marital distractions Paul spoke of in our reading if you both focus on Jesus together.

²  And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife? tempting him.³ And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?⁴ And they said, Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.⁵ And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.⁶ But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.⁷ For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;⁸ And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.⁹ What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

This reading starts out with Jesus being questioned about whether it is okay for a man to put away his wife or in other words, divorce her. Jesus responded by asking them what did Moses say about divorce? Their response was that Moses said a bill of divorcement could be written and she can be put away. Jesus in turn responded that Moses really had no choice but to give this option to the people because they became so hardened in their hearts that they wouldn't accept the truth of how God wants marriage to be handled between a husband and a wife.  Jesus went on in this reading to explain very clearly and precisely that from the very beginning, God made them male and female referring to Adam and Eve and not male and male or female and female. Jesus continued to explain what is written in Genesis 2:24 that a man should leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. This cleave that Jesus spoke of here is a bond between them like being attached together with a glue that is inseparable. Jesus even went on in these verses to explain that the two meaning the man and woman when married or husband and wife become one flesh. This is the type of bond spoken of by Jesus saying they should cleave together. Then Jesus puts a stamp on the whole explanation of marriage by saying that man should not put asunder or take apart what God has put together. God wants people to get married, stay married and avoid fornication which is voluntary sexual relations between two unmarried people. The Apostle Paul explained this clearly in his First Letter to the Corinthians 7:2, "Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."   When two people get married, our Father in Heaven sees us as two, husband and wife becoming joined together with a bond that should be unbreakable and it will be unbreakable when God is the glue holding it together.  In the Second Letter of Paul to the Corinthians 6:14 Paul tells us to, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers:" Paul was explaining that believers should be married to believers not unbelievers. When you come to the point in your life where you are considering marriage with someone, you should first and foremost consider if the person you are dating is a believer. If they are not, this verse is clearly telling you that you should not be married to that person. If you marry that person anyway, you are looking for trouble and more likely to have marital problems in your life. Explaining this further, a man and woman in the marriage should count God more important than each other first in your marriage and then your marriage will flourish with God's love through both of you.  If you are already married to someone, it is very obvious from our reading that you are to cleave to your spouse and never consider divorce unless for reason of infidelity. If you are already married to someone and you commit yourself to the marriage as it says here by cleaving to your spouse, God will bless your marriage because of your commitment to your spouse. Proverbs 18:22 tells us, "Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD." This verse from Proverbs says that when you do marry, you will find favor from the Lord or in other words God will bless your marriage. Many married people over time find that their marriage loses its spice but this a false belief that only the devil wants you to believe because The First Letter of Peter 5:8 tells you, "Because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:" This verse warns you that the devil is trying to devour everyone he can and if you look around today, most marriages are being devoured by the devil. This starts with a small amount of deception that most people don't even realize is happening to them. Next thing you know, you are looking at someone else and lusting after them. It isn't too long after that you are arguing with your spouse and starting to think evil thoughts like it is would be better with that other person or I would be better off by myself. This is only a lie the devil wants you to believe. This is deception at its best making you believe the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Lets face it that this is just lustful thoughts of someone else because evil deception caused you to forget why you married your spouse in the first place.  Recognizing this deception and rejecting it in the name of Jesus is the greatest thing you can do to keep you marriage on solid ground. I can tell you that this deception attacked our marriage to a point that when God finally got through to me, making me realize how bad the deception was coming against me, I literally had to pray to God to show me how beautiful my wife is to stop the deception and save our marriage. If you consider this deception and truly look at the person you are lusting after, you will notice one very obvious thing about that person. That person has the exact same look and features that made you desire your spouse in the first place. The devil uses things that appeal to you the most about your spouse, and he uses them against you to make you think someone else is better than what you have. This is not greener grass, it is a complete lie! When you finally get with that person you are lusting after and the lust dust settles, it is not ever what you thought it would be. Don't let this happen to you or your marriage, when you have that lustful thought about being with someone else or being by yourself, cut it off with this verse from 2 Corinthians 10:5, "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" Bring your thoughts into a place where they line up with what God wants you to think following the command by the Apostle Paul in Romans 13:14, "But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof."

²¹  Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. ²² Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.²³ For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.²⁴ Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.²⁵ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

This reading starts out with the Apostle Paul telling married couples to submit themselves to each other in the fear of God. This does not mean to be afraid of God but it is telling you to do this because this is what God wants you to do. Paul goes on to say that wives should submit themselves to their own husbands as they would submit to the Lord. Paul continues on saying that the husband is the head of the wife even as Jesus is the head of the church and the savior of the body. The body spoken of here is the Body of Christ meaning the whole church and everyone in it. The Apostle Paul relates the husband to Jesus and the wife to the church. The reading goes on to say that the church is subject to Christ and the wife should be subject to her own husband in everything. This means that the wife should follow the husband's instruction the same way the church should follow Jesus' instructions, His Word which is shown in the Gospel of John 1:14, "And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth." This verse says that Jesus was the Word made flesh. The church being subject to Jesus means they should be following His Word and be obedient to Him. Likewise for the wife to be subject to the husband, she should be following his word or instruction.  For the wife to follow the husband's instruction, the husband must first of all be following Jesus' instruction and doing what it says in Colossians 3:17, "Whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him." This reading finishes with the last verse saying that the husband should love the wife even as Jesus loves His church and gave his life for it. This clearly says that a wife should be obedient to her husband but also that her husband should love her in a way that he would die for her. This is confirmed in the Word a few verses later in Ephesians 5:28, "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself."  And to amplify this even more in Ephesians 5:33 Paul wrote, "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband." This is speaking of a perfect marriage and how a husband and wife should participate in that marriage. Now, how can you apply this to your own marriage? First, you need come to a common ground in your marriage where you both want the perfect marriage. When you come to this place and both desire to have an awesome marriage, then you both need to do what Luke wrote in his Gospel, 12:31, "But rather seek ye the kingdom of God; and all these things shall be added unto you." You can only seek God through His Word the Holy Bible. When you do this, you will recognize that the Word will instruct you in how your marriage should work and not only your marriage but your whole family. What you will find when you both, husband and wife seek God together, Jesus will be with you 100% of the time to help you because it says in the Gospel of Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them." When a husband and wife which is equivalent to two people are gathered in Jesus name, He is right there in the midst of you. The most difficult part of a marriage is decision making because it pits a husband against a wife. When there are decisions to make and you are at odds, you can seek wisdom from Jesus and He will guide you through it as written in Proverbs 3:6, "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."  If it is significant like buying something expensive, changing jobs or some other life altering decision, we found that the best way to get through these decisions is by allowing Jesus to give us both peace about it.  We seek God through His Word, pray and meditate in His Word to have peace about it, before we make our choice. Seeking and using this kind of peace in your decisions is supported in the Word by the Apostle Paul in his letter to the Colossians 3:15, "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." This verse says that you can make a decision about something through the peace in your heart. If a wife and husband do not together have complete peace about something, they probably should not go through with it. If you both have complete peace, it is most likely the correct choice. To be more clear on a decision, you can pray together about it and ask for wisdom from God as to what you should do. Everything will not always be easy due to the fact that a husband and wife usually have differing opinions about the decision. When you can not reach agreement about something that is small, the wife should be subject to the husband and ultimately allow him to make the final decision. This is where, in our reading it states that a wife should be subject to the husband. The husband has full authority of the whole family but when he loves his wife as Jesus loves the church, he will consider his wife's decision before making a selfish decision to get his own way. A wife should never be subject to her husband if it is contrary to the Word of God. Anything that is not in line with the Word of God that a husband is telling a wife to do, she should not do it because the Word is the highest authority in this life. Now, we know in every marriage there are areas where the husband must allow the wife to have clear authority to make her own decisions. Likewise the wife must allow the husband to make his own decisions too. This is dependant on each marriage and how you divide responsibility.  When either of you have a concern and are uncertain about what you should do, seek advice from your spouse to see what they think. Sometimes you will be shocked of the wisdom you will receive from them. When you seek God and trust each other to have a say in each other's decisions, you will see your marriage grow and the decision making process will get easier giving you more harmony in your marriage. Jesus will teach you how to grow your marriage even more, all you have to do is ask Him to grow it and take a step toward Him by seeking Him together in His Word. Finally, to reaffirm that it is important for husbands and wives, first to seek God, we give you another verse in the Gospel of Matthew that confirms the importance of seeking the Lord. Matthew 6:33 says, "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you." So start seeking God in His Word today and have all things added to your marriage and family.